High sensitivity is not a condition or disorder. You can't get rid of it. High sensitivity is a personality trait with advantages and disadvantages. Throughout my life, I’ve been deeply affected by bright lights, strong scents, itchy clothing, and loud noises. I know that once I got a terrible headache from the lavender bags my aunty made for me and she got really angry about it.
During childhood a was told that I was oversensitive and that I shouldn't exaggerate. So many highly sensitif people feel rejected. We feel like we don't belong. We feel different and misunderstood. Many of us try very hard to toughen up to fit in, to be 'normal'. Of course that doesn't work and this makes us very insecure.
Here are some tips enjoy your personal trait more and to grow more secure.
- Stop making excuses for what and who you are. People who respect you will accept you the way you are, even if they don't always understand your reactions. The first step is accepting yourself and being proud of your assets. Think of the richness in how we feel the world arround us. The music we intensely enjoy and range of the colours we see.
- We tend to be pretty hard on ourselves, so practice self-compassion. Be very forgiven for yourself. You should treat yourself like you would a dear friend. Never forget that.
- Sometimes we get stuck in the emotion. We loose ourselves and are making things worse. If that's happening it's time to take a step back. It can help to talk to a friend who can put everything in perspective for you. Or you can try to distract yourself with a complicated task. Try to see everything back in right point of view. Learn how to recognize your emotions. Remember that distressing feelings, like anxiety, sadness, and feeling overwhelmed will be temporary.
- Feeling rejected is something that is very common. Everyone is against you. Do not interpret your fellow man. You can't possibly know what he thinks of you unless he actually tells you. So if someone doesn't smile at you, it's not because they are angry but maybe they had a bad day.
- We all have a big sence of justice and can get very worked up about that. But keep in mind, not every battle is your battle.
- Do not try to please people by acting how you think they want you to be. You betray yourself and it is at the expense of your self-esteem.
- If you have a emotional outburst, don't be hard on yourself. You were pushed too long, too hard, too intensely, at some point the bucket is full. Many times I've tried to point that out to my surroundings but many times they didn't respect my bounderies and kept pushing. So this passionate response was required. And even if I personally don't like losing my temper, sometimes it can't be avoided.
- Take many breaks during the day if possible, and try to get in touch nature. Nature is soothing and calms the spirit. If that's not possible then take a bath or listen to calming music.
- Set your bounderies, this is a difficult one. Many people will try to push your limits. Pratice how to say no, how to say this is not acceptable. You will get resistance, don't give in.
- We feel things deeply but may hide our emotions from others, because we’ve learned to retreat. Try not to do that, but speak about them to friends and family (only when your calmed down)
Have a nice evening,
Miss Poppy
